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7- Dearest You.....

Last August I wrote myself a letter....I hadn't intended to, it just happened. The launch of The Lotus Network was imminent and I figured that getting some ideas down for future blogs would be a wise thing to do. A few weeks earlier I'd had what i refer to as a mini-breakdown (see Blog 2- Fast Forward) which prompted me to do a lot of 'work' on myself. I had delved into my mind and heart, searching for answers as to why it had taken 4 years for the gravity of my diagnosis to finally hit me, or more to the point, why I had hidden from it and how in doing so, had changed the way I saw myself. I sat down to write with no particular topic in mind.....'Dearest You,' no sooner had I typed this then the rest just flowed and has remained unedited. I wasn't consciously thinking about what I was writing and it's hard to articulate where these words came from. Some would say it's the subconscious, others, the gut or heart, maybe it depends on your particular belief system but for me I feel it's my soul. It's the voice inside me that can only be heard when I quieten my mind and connect with that peaceful place that resides everywhere and nowhere at the same time, within me and around me in equal measure. This voice is the one that is hardest to heed as it usually guides me down the road less travelled but I also know that if I hear and follow it, I will never regret doing so. I am still 'working' on myself and imagine I always will, there are infinite lessons to learn and opportunities constantly present themselves that enable me to evolve if I choose to. Although I have made progress since penning this note, I revisit it from time to time as it brings me comfort whenever I start to doubt myself and my own strength. I'm including it as a Blog, to encourage others to try doing the same, to see themselves from the inside out. Even if you are very much aware of what you're writing, it is still a useful exercise to view yourself as you would a loved one or best friend, after all, many of us treat others with more compassion than we do ourselves. Try it when you have a window of time and see what it is that you have to say to yourself. You may just be surprised, I know I was......

Dearest You,

Life is strange isn't it! You've been on quite a journey these past few years and I hope this finds you well. Actually, that's a stupid thing to say as I know exactly how you are, I see you, I know every single fibre of your being. I know the real you even when you forget who that is and doubt yourself. You should know that I'm so very proud of you as you are still here......still in the game. I understand better than anyone how the news that you are infertile has impacted you but please know that you are perfect and beautiful just as you are. Believing that doesn't make you vain, it honours the miracle of life, the miracle that is you and every human being. Even though it feels as if you have been changed, this diagnosis doesn't define you, remember all the wonderful qualities that you had before, that are still very much in place today.

It makes me feel sad that you consider yourself unworthy of love in the romantic sense, that you are inadequate and less of a woman now. What if I told you that I have seen the future! What if I promised you that you will be loved on a scale unimaginable to you right now, that someone will embrace all of the complex layers that are you! There is a person out there this very second who is waking each day, and unbeknownst to them, their soul is ready to be a candle amidst the darkness of your fears and a prism that will enable your light to reach even further. Can you find it in yourself to believe that this is not only possible but true? Humour me here for a moment.......let's just say you choose to believe me, well, wouldn't that be incredible! Just imagine letting go of the worry about what the future holds, it'd mean you could live in the present, enjoy the beauty of each day, safe in the knowledge that everything is as it should be. Ha, I know what you're thinking right now......"What if I'm just setting myself up for a fall, what if none of this happens and I'm left disappointed, alone and disillusioned with life!". Well, just keep calm and breathe deeply. You don't have to start looking for things or changing who you are, I'm just asking that you let yourself acknowledge this truth and then surrender it up and let it go. I just want you to allow yourself to feel the peace that this knowing will bring. If you trust me and do this, I guarantee, regardless of what happens, your future will be beautiful because as you let go of your fears, each and every moment that you live will be transformed, starting this very second....I hope I can make you see that. Everything will change when you have faith in me and let go. You underestimate what I'm capable of. All that you need, I have, all that you ask me for, I will provide for you in abundance, I am here for you unconditionally. My love knows no ending, it began long before you walked this earth and will continue way beyond your days. When you truly believe in me, you believe in the beauty of today, tomorrow, and most of all, you believe in love, love for yourself. Once you have this.......everything will fall into place and what a ride it will be.....

My love, always......

Your true self xxxx

@DeepakChopra: Your true self is the nameless formless inconceivable reality that gives rise to names, forms & concepts #CosmicConsciousness

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